Irrational thoughts or faulty belief systems are the cause of ultimate “should scripts” that are not congruent to the reality of the world or the organization to which they are attached or associated. Irrational beliefs are, in a large sense, messages about life that we attach to ourselves that in many instances hinder or promote emotional growth. Life scripts that we have sculpted in our perceptional brain come from the experiences that we have had throughout our life and in the end are the filters by which new information is processed.
It places a “should script” on how we intend to get through the experience and how we believe others should play their part in the overall script of our lives. Because of these “should scripts” unfounded attitudes and opinions and values are typically not congruent to what the world really has to offer and in a sense is out of touch of the reality.
Because of the extent of a stressful event we tend to develop habitual responses to that event, which at many times deflects responsibility to face the stressful event and places a negative value to how an individual actually handles the event. Often times, irrational beliefs are attached to ideas, feelings, beliefs, biases, prejudices or values in which we were raised culturally, religiously and spiritually. And therefore are so embedded in our life script that we tend to use these in stressful situations although they may not be directly connected to the reality at hand.
In many instances these values that we often tap as resources can become self limiting and hinder growth because they are safe and within what is comfortable for the individual rather than challenging or promoting a different opinion, value or attitude. Because of these, there are typically neutral or negative consequences to facing a life stressor with this habitual life script.
It is easy to see how self inhibiting these types of thought processes can be in the overall emotional intelligence of an individual. Habitual ways of thinking and automatic thought processes that have been assigned a value of effective, may be in fact, ineffectual. And again, these types or ways of thinking may be counterproductive in that they may provide short term resolution to the actual experience but the long term effects do not resolve or maybe in some instances may exacerbate the problem or the stressor as a whole.
I should have done this or I should have thought that or I should have felt this or felt that becomes the circuitous pattern of thought and life view. I can attest to the hell it is to live life with a I “should have” mentation. One seldom forgives oneself for the lack of progress this produces. Change the reaction and move from a should to a intent script. You will love yourself for the transformation.