Make Room for What Matters

Ever open your refrigerator and notice several jars of items that you have not used in over a year? There might be an extra jar of jam, or an extra jar of salad dressing that didn’t really agree with you after you bought it. In some instances the refrigerator gets so cluttered with these types of items that it makes it difficult to stuff new items into it. So you shuffle things around trying to make space for the items that you just purchased.

The routine begins by shuffling from one shelf to another in a random order with no real goal other than to shove the newly purchased groceries into the remaining space. There is no prioritization, there is no real organization, it can be quite chaotic if one was just aware. There is no concept of letting go of the non-essentials to make room for the essentials. We will go to the extent of allowing the nonessential items to spoil before we recognize that they can be discarded. Sometimes the non-essentials become a threat to the essential items because the spoilage can transfer over to the new stuff. It goes on for a long time before something gives in and it is usually the entire refrigerator. The entire space…

This is exactly how many of us live our lives. There are so many different thoughts that are non-essential to our lives, but we hold on to them like a jar of unused salad dressing.

There are also relationships that are non-essential that we are programmed to believe we need to hold on to but are truly not good for us. We spend energy and time on these relationships that go nowhere and then have no time to dedicate to the essential relationships that deserve our attention.

Both you and your refrigerator need an honest inventory of essential vs. nonessential items. When you make room for the essentials then you can truly understand how important these items are to the significance of living. A positive strategy for living is to let go of the non-essentials in your life and dedicate more time to seeking out and nurturing the essentials in your life. I can assure you that life gets more easily managed and admiration for what is then created is truly witnessed. Create your life, get rid of the clutter and embrace what matters…

TRUTH

I have received some emails that sought more information on the issue of drive strength and commitment ethic that I mention in a previous blog post. I think it appropriate to first define these concepts. Drive strength and commitment ethic are emotional intelligence skills that are primarily defined as a self management skill.

Drive strength defines an individuals internal motivation. Commitment ethic defines an individuals follow through on goals identified. Managing the self in the truest sense is extremely difficult because it entails verification of reality vs lying to yourself.

Often times people establish goals with a true drive to reach the goals but often end up faltering along the way because of commitment ethic issues. Often times, the goal setter does not take into consideration the variation of commitment at different stages in the pursuit of the goal. Rationalization is the typical strategy when momentum is slowed at these points.

Again, distortion of truth seems to be the easiest way to deal with these junctions in goal pursuit. Typically, unparalleled commitment ethic to covetous drive strength kills the goal and again rationalization and excuse formation ensue. This becomes a cyclical mindset which ends in a defective self esteem. People tend to try to overcompensate for this type esteem formation with more lies, boasting, egoic thinking etc. But this is another blog post altogether.

The answer is to be truthful to your self management parameter. Drive strength and commitment ethic must be parallel. Having more commitment ethic than drive will eventually balance in pulling the drive strength forward and the reverse is to stall goal attainment.

Pursue truth in all things…

The Duel of Duality – Two Wolves, A Native American Interpretation

I often write about fear and love, the Ego and real self, in attempt to bring to thought the duel of the duality that most human beings face. A very dear friend of mine directed my attention to the following Native American Interpretation. I think that it is dead on in many respects. However, I will spend time in future blogs defining how to move past the duel. But for now… Thanks Elva!

TWO WOLVES One evening an old Cherokee told his grandson about a battle that goes on inside people.

He said, “My son, the battle is between two wolves inside us all.

“One is Evil – It is anger, envy, jealousy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority, and ego.

“The other is God – It is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion and faith.”

The grandson thought about it for a minute and then asked his grandfather: “Which wolf wins?”

The old Cherokee simply replied, “The one you feed.”